woe is me

I went through my old CD's in my old room and I saw the first CD I ever burned, a collection of mp3s circa 2004. About 2% of the songs there were Karl's songs, meaning he wanted me to download and listen to them. Radiohead's "The Bends" and "My Iron Lung," Pink Floyd's "Wish You Were Here" (he loved that song), Guster's "Demons" among others. I think subconsciously, he was trying to get a cruel message across. Some of the songs reminded me of how messed up I was back then and how sad and tragic.

I suddenly remembered the last time he visited me at home. We just watched DVDs all day. As he was walking away, he turned and looked at me, then he shrugged. Pure iconic Karl. When he "disappeared," I thought my world was going to end.

I remember being in JC's crib and I was just bawling. Take note: B-A-W-L-I-N-G. It was embarrassing but there was no stopping me. Poor JC didn't know what to do, I didn't know what to do. I was gasping for air and no matter how hard I tried, it just kept on coming.

Anyway, the past is best left in a box and I'm thankful. For him. For love. For Love.