Finally, some clarity.

I now have an idea of what I want to happen in my life. When you put things into perspective, everything is suddenly a little easier to come to terms with. It's not easy to find your place in the world but it certainly helps to know where you want to be, or at the very least where you don't want to be.

I don't want to be stuck in this place. I feel like a big fish in a small, unlit aquarium and more than anything, I want to know what the ocean feels like. I also want to have the memory of a goldfish. I want forgetting to be easier than it normally is, in other words, I want memory loss to be effortless. If only Eternal Sunshine wasn't fiction.

When people talk about the real world, what is that supposed to be? Is it what is happening now (the life we're living) or the life that we are supposed to be living but for reasons we deny, we avoid?

Right now, if my "real world" had an image, it would be this:



Or this:



I don't know why but somehow, major life decisions for me are based on the men I meet along the way. I over-romanticize my life. Despite all the cynicism, I somehow believe that all the wrong men lead me to the right one. Chaaaaaarot.